Something I figured out, all jittery and coming down off a caffeine high. I'm still rushing through work, but once you get to the tail end of the buzz, you get unfocused. I was sitting there, thinking about what I might be working at. Thinking about almost everyone else I know who's gainfully employed. And I said to myself, how many people are at dead end jobs that they're miserable at? Why aren't they getting ahead?

Because they're chasing money. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not what they really want. They put it ahead of a few too many things, and as a result, they get paid to be depressed and frustrated. Nature of the game is you're going to have people suckered into being cubicle meat. Some people enjoy it. Some people won't have a choice. Like I said, nature of the game.

It all comes back to purpose.

You can have shitty, miserable, back-breaking labor. But if you feel it has purpose, you have purpose. And that will make it enjoyable, in a way. Not like playing your favourite game happy, or drinking every night happy. No, more like that burn in your arms from a good workout. Like looking at something you've built and having pride in it. Knowing you've done something right. The other (and more lucrative) option is to do something you're miserable at for more money. I know you, I've seen it enough. Been it once or twice. Sitting there, feeling like it's all a waste. Feeling underused, undervalued, a piece of a giant, faceless machine with alien aims. In the end, you end up paying. You pay with your misery, your emptiness, for all those nice pictures of dead presidents.

As my namesake put it, "To pay hell is one thing. But do you want to own it?"

Deschain